What Not To Wear

Wow! I really thought that the era of animal appliques was over back in the 90's. Only small children under the age of 5 should be allowed to wear a denim jacket with appliqued puppies. (Dee - your Glamour Shots sweater and doorknocker earrings can be excused due to the fashion madness that was that decade. ).

So here I am at Cracker Barrel surrounded by chambray shirts with puppies, kitties and birdhouses. Next rack over - florals and insects. Oooh! A turquoise denim jacket with hot pink and black/white polka dot daisies in XXL. I am all for being visible when running or riding for safety reasons (see pink bike jacket post) but this is a crime and should result in one of a handful of punishments:

1. Immediate banishment to a Florida or Arizona retirement, excuse me - Active Adult -community complete with the required golf cart and terrycloth visor.


2. Execution. You pick the method, I'm not particular.


3. Intervention. Ever heard of "What Not To Wear"? This is it. The entire show in one hideous top.

The saddest thing is that I still have a few pieces like this in my closet. Yes, I had the fleece from Kohl's with the snowman on it, or the denim shirt from the craft show with the harvest apples and the crows on it. However, I have not ever owned or will ever own a "holiday sweater" for Halloween or Christmas with the scary buttons. Momentary insanity at the time, and I have appropriately purged my closet of these items.

Those of you still wearing them -- you'd better watch out! The golf carts are on their way, and the Scooter Store will be given your phone number.

P.S. What's even MORE frightening and telling. Just trying to Google or eBay to find images of these abominations comes up empty. See - they know that their target demographic doesn't have the Internet, so there's no images to be found.